Photo by Mihai Surdu on Unsplash
I never thought I’d tell my story, at least not until I was much older, more established and less likely to be negatively affected by any repercussions. But, after the outpouring of sexual assault on university campus stories, many people are now becoming aware of the impact of our highly sexualised culture on victims, and I realised how valuable my voice is to provide support and credence to others.
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A 2020 report ‘Unsafe Spaces: Ending Sexual Abuse in Universities’ highlights the extent of sexual abuse many university students endure and accuses the sector of failing to adequately address this human rights violation occurring in epidemic proportions. At least 50,000 incidents of sexual abuse take place on English and Welsh campuses every year, with the research revealing the role of “lad culture” that dominates student sport clubs and creates a sexually toxic environment fuelled by a pack mentality.
The study also predicted that the number of student victims of sexual harassment and abuse far exceeds the recorded formal complaints made to universities, where many procedures for dealing with such grievances are still inadequate.
I am part of this statistic, like many of my peers. I’d experienced sexual harassment before, while I was just a young teenager in a school uniform, from a sports coach who would repeatedly explain all the things he wanted to do to me because of how I looked and how I should take his words as a compliment, like a ‘normal girl’ would. But it’s safe to say, I was never prepared for the extent I would suffer in a university setting: catcalls, repeated sexual assaults from students who insisted they saw the consent in my eyes, instead of hearing the word ‘no’ from my lips; a male student who I considered to be a friend who asked me on a date and then locked me in his bedroom and demanded I at least let him touch me, ripping at my clothes and closing his hands around my neck while I tried to fight him off as he told me the only way he’d let me go is if I let him have his way. I managed to escape before it escalated further, barefoot, with my t-shirt torn and my skirt zipper broken, and when I confided in other students seeking support I was told I was crazy, that I was so physically repulsive no man would have made the effort to take me on a date unless he thought I was a sure thing, convincing me that I had led him on and should apologise, as though the entire situation was my fault. It was not until years later that I finally realised, I could only be faulted for my naivety, not for other students’ actions.
Incidences like these scattered my entire university career, haunting me to this day. I was choked, harassed for sex, bullied for my appearance, and gaslit into believing I was crazy and neurotic every time I expressed my fear and discomfort. I was subjected to fellow students inappropriately touching me, feeling entitled to pit female students against each other by telling them their only value was their sexual value and giving them ranks out of ten for their appearance, continuously misconstruing innocent words as having a sexual meaning or taking something as simple as a brief glance as an invitation for assault; and then having the audacity to be surprised when the victims are distressed by their actions before dismissing their feelings as being crazy.
My mental health spiralled at university. I was harassed daily on the street by strangers who felt entitled to my body as though I were an object instead of a human being, I had insults and threats thrown at me when I ignored them, my fear was disregarded by my peers because I was “lucky” that people found me attractive or that I was “too ugly” to be harassed and therefore “lying for attention” as though only people above a certain threshold of attractiveness were allow to experience unwanted sexual advances. I was disbelieved by adults who were supposed to protect me and dismissed by even my own friends and family, and soon I became unable to determine who I could trust and who was just waiting for a chance to exploit me while people around me that I was no longer the girl they once wanted because I was too crazy to be attractive unless I wanted to be cured by their “magic dicks.”
I spent years believing that something was wrong with me, because I didn’t want the attention, and even apologised to my abusers because I believed that my objections to being objectified were unfounded. Towards the end of my university education, I found myself drunk and alone in a night club, surrounded by people I did not know and fending off more harassment when I realised that I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt happy or safe, which ultimately resulted in my decision to leave higher education.
The 2020 study published on student sexual assault calculated that around 15% of female students and 3% of male students experience sexual abuse at English and Welsh universities, equating to around 50,000 students a year, although the true figures are likely much higher.
The 1752 Group which campaigns against sexual misconduct at British universities discovered that 40–50% of all university students in the USA and Australia are subjected to unwanted sexual attention, and that this prevalence was likely to be the same in the UK.
Universities have to do more to ensure the safety and welfare of students. I for one was never quiet about what was happening to me, until I became resoundingly aware that the people who were supposed to protect me were less than willing to step in when needed. I was told that I was crazy and a burden on others, and it was only then that I became silent. Abuse victims every day fear speaking out due to fearing the potential backlash for their careers, social lives and general disbelief. This has to change, or else the current environment where abusive behaviour is implicitly permitted, expected, and even encouraged will continue and grow.
Now that there are large numbers of university students locked down together on campus, potentially without access to appropriate support systems, there has never been a more important time to rediscover the voice that had been taken from me and tackle the issue of sexual abuse and peer on peer grooming.
University should be a positive experience and a safe place for students to live, work and study as no person should feel like they’re unable to continue with their education because of the environment they’re in. All people are entitled to feel safe, especially those who have recently left home and been thrust into an unfamiliar situation. And no student should have to make the choice that I did, between their safety and mental health, and their right to an education. The goal of sexual violence prevention is to stop it from happening in the first place, but the solutions are just as complex as the problem. Allowing those affected to discuss their experiences without dismissal or resistance is the first point of call, however it also requires addressing factors at all levels of social ecology — individual, recreation, community and societal levels. Education must also be provided, enabling students to recognise abusive behaviours in themselves and others, equipping them with the knowledge and support to protect themselves, and understand how their actions affect others. Universities must strive to act as will be the first step in breaking the societal norms, resulting in a safer campus for everyone.